Friday, February 13, 2009

Sometimes.... just have a gloomy day that affects everything you do. Today, it was raining, sleeting and just plain gloomy. It does not matter that everything right now is going pretty dang well and I don't have a lot to complain about. I could if I tried, but it's better for your general health and sanity to think about what you have, not what you don't have. So, I'm thankful for the opportunities I've had, my job (I really cannot say this enough) and the people in my life.

But today, it was like coming down from a high and facing reality. Yesterday was slightly overwhelming and when I got to work today, I wanted nothing more than to get back on the bus, head home and get in bed. If the general mood of today was bad, it was nothing compared to leaving work (finally) and facing a cold front that whipped my hair into unavoidable knots in less than a minute. Yes, today was a real winner. Standing in the progressively colder air, the stark trees bare against the darkening gray sky, it seemed the grayest day I had felt in awhile. Not only was the day dull and dreary, but I was exhausted from the week; and, when revelations occur suddenly as they tend to do, overly aware of the complexities of life. Nothing is ever one way only. Situations can never be understood from one view. Life is funny, life is strange and life is bittersweet. And today, things leaned to the bitter side of things. Songs I normally heard as sweet and fun became sad and more complicated. Specifically, 'Wedding Day' by Rosie Thomas and 'Hey There, Delilah' by Plain White T's and 'I Need You' by Faith Hill and Tim McGraw (this one specifically not a particular "upper" for a single someone the day before Valentine's Day!). Before 'Wedding Day' was a particular freeing type of wedding day. A wedding for the relationship you have with yourself, when you're independent and living the life you want. 'Hey There, Delilah' always had a particular sweet innocence to it; the ideal you had about life in high school. 'I Need You' was so earnest and boiled love down to a very basic instinct. But today, they just seemed sad and lonely. False and hopeless.

Sometimes, it's just one of those days.

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