What's happening, April?

One day, when I am not spending every free moment applying for new jobs, I will write more. But I've always said that. I've always said "I want to write more". I want to develop a style. I want to be inspired to write a story.
On occasion, I have great moments of inspiration to write. It hasn't happened in awhile, but I would sometimes start writing just a thought right before bed. And sometimes the (somewhat poetic) thoughts wouldn't stop for an hour. I would just write and write. I don't have quite as much free time anymore, so my free thinking, creative thoughts aren't as active.

But today, I'm sitting at Henry's with Phil on a gorgeous spring afternoon in Lawrence. I had to work at my real job today (yes, on a Saturday). And I stopped by the Lawrence library to get the next book in the YA series I somehow can't stop reading. (We can blame my highschool BFF for that.)
So, I'm sitting here with Phil, doing a little work for his company, making some headway in my Google Reader and looking for jobs. As of right now I, shockingly, have no jobs to apply for. I've been pretty seriously job hunting for about six months and have constantly had jobs to apply for. I feel very lucky that there is so much opportunity in the Kansas City area in the field I want to be in.
---
I had a job interview in February for a small events and meeting planning boutique. It seemed like a great job and a good fit but I was not comfortable at the interview. Maybe because my interview skills were rusty but I kind of think the person I interviewed with wasn't very personable/friendly. At least, she didn't come across like that in the interview. So that was definitely not my best. I did receive a call they were moving on in their search with other candidates. I wasn't that sad about it.
I interviewed for a position with a super-new start-up tech company. It has a lot of buzz right now. A LOT. OF. BUZZ. But it was a two-month contract. And I had to start, like, yesterday. And as much as I'm not at all content and completely annoyed with my current job, I made it clear that I could not start for another two weeks. At least. Because leaving before June would give my current coworkers a lot more work in an already full spring semester. So, I won't screw them over. I'm loyal like that.
I applied for a job for a company in KC in January (yes, THREE months ago). I thought the position was open. I received a response that they weren't looking for anyone. (Me= totally confused). But the company contacted me about a month ago. They had some positions open again. After 3 weeks of phone-tag, I finally had an interview scheduled for this past week. It went great! It's a very employee-focused company. Casual dress (ie jeans) and the HR recruiter was personable and friendly and there were really only two "interview" questions. It was a conversation, not a question and answer session. Between the really great interview (including)  the promise of an additional interview with some management in the area of the position) and the pingpong + video game room, I'm really excited for this position. The ONLY downside is the commute. Forty minutes each way. Not bad, but definitely a time suck.
But I do have a second interview next week, so it's promising.

But there are two positions IN the city I live that I REALLY want because the commute would, obviously, be shorter. And I could do more work for my boyfriend's company. BUT WHO KNOWS. I need a job offer before I make any decisions. But here I sit, with no jobs to apply for. And that seems weird. But I'm sure something will pop up in a few days. Or, even better, I have an actual job offer.
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But I have to time to write. And Henry's reminds me I want to sit in a coffee shop all day writing. Or doing something creative.
Or, thinking how me and my friend Becca should start an event planning business. Or, how I should be looking into more freelance writing opportunities. Or how there's so much stuff I could do and I just can't decide.

And how this blog entry has completely lost any focus.

What were we talking about again?

Garden State

I watched Garden State with Phil last night. It had been well over a year since I had last seen it. I haven't even had my copy since January when I loaned it to someone to make a point. Either they A) didn't watch it or B) didn't get or care for my point. Either way, I've moved on and now really just want my damn movie back.

My point is, it's been at least a year since I last watched it. Maybe closer to two years. And let me tell you, a lot has happened in that time. And this is important because Garden State is my favorite movie. Not just because the action or the story or the characters are great but I watched it at a time that it really had an impact on me. No, it didn't changed me but it was just the perfect movie to come along at the time it did. I had started my sophomore year in college. I had had an awful summer in Des Moines with my family (it ended up being the last one I spent there) and, you know, I was trying to figure stuff out. I had lost that idea of "home". Not just a place, but the connections I had and the people I surrounded myself with. This has continued to evolve since then but it was really very profound then. I was shifting from being a part of nuclear family to being the oldest child in a family with newly-divorced parents. But I was also two states away and I really didn't have to deal with it. And holidays from then on out always seemed to have some drama. My sister and I were yelling at each other or my mom was annoying me or I was mad at my dad. I was never sure where it was going to come from but something was not going to go well. So, Lawrence became my home. I wrote about this before.  My shift from Iowa to Kansas. But Garden State  stuck with me. I had to buy a copy. I had to own the soundtrack. Every so often, it made me feel better. It's the idea that you do what you want to in life, you do the important things and you spend time with the important people. And you do your best and sometimes it still sucks. But you have to hold on to the good moments and the laughter.

But something in the last year and a half changed. The move felt different. I had the realization that most of the characters in the movie are about 26 years old. I am 26. I am no longer a 19-year-old college student.  Other than that, I can't say for sure what else was different about the viewing of this movie. I still laughed, I was still sad during the melancholy moments. But there was a tone to the movie, a different layer, that I understood. The characters seemed more like peers; not the grown-ups I had thought them to be when I was 19. I can unequivocally say I was viewing the movie as an adult.

Definitely still my favorite movie.

"I know it hurts. That's life. If nothing else, It's life. It's real, and sometimes it fuckin' hurts, but it's sort of all we have."

A word about renting...

Moving sucks.
Moving every year (or more) for 7 years sucks.

Dishonest landlords and shady "stories" suck even more.

This eloquent, thoughtful and vocabulary-rich NaBloPoMo blog entry brought to you by Bailey.

Where are you?

In my last semester of college as I spent my non-free time searching for jobs, I searched in a couple main locations: Lawrence, Kansas City, Des Moines and Seattle.

Lawrence and Kansas City offered me a non-moving transition into adulthood; Des Moines is where my family is located (I was prepared to move back there when, 2 months post-grad, I still had no job); and Seattle? I visited once and loved it. Thinking about it now, I don't think a big city is where I want to live. I *love* to visit (NYC with my Grandma two years ago was a blast and both coasts needs more of my travel attention) but I grew up in the Midwest and I think this is where I want to stay, for now at least.

Lawrence, Kansas has become my second home and I love what I have here.

 But does anyone else have that place where you just imagine yourself fitting into perfectly? I am pretty sure I would rock at life in Colorado. All my friends there would have to be cool with hiking and camping and skiing (well, teaching me how to ski) Every. Single. Weekend.

I would spend all my money on yearly park-permits and sweet camping equipment. I would have to have an SUV (hybrid, for the earth-saving side of me) to haul around all my gear. I would make everyone come visit me because, seriously, why would I want to leave?*

Where are you?



*Okay, I would still leave. I still need to visit Italy and drink lots of wine. But that's a whole other blog post!

Should have known...

It's been a tough few months. So as much as this NaBloPoMo (for me) should be about creativity and exploring different types of writing, figuring out what type of writer I want to be and creating a consistent writing platform, it certainly hasn't been the time for me to make a plan. So, what exactly have I been doing? Considering a new job, finding new jobs, getting increasingly hateful towards my current job, appreciating my coworkers making the current job worth standing.

Over the weekend, I also was in Iowa celebrating my grandpa's life with my family. It was a long, hard weekend. And there's so many things I could wish to express to my grandpa and to my family and things people told me about my him. I just don't think I'm at the point to share quite yet.

Home and Perspective

"I looked at the canopy above us, and suddenly saw what he saw. My perspective completely shifted. I realized I didn't have his "eyes' -- though once he pointed it out, it became obvious. It made me think, "My God, I never look enough," and in the years since, I've tried very hard to look --and look again.""

The cable has been gone for less than 48 hours and I am already reading more. Above, is an excerpt from Julie Andrew's autobiography, "Home". I'm not a person who considered biographies often, but my grandma suggested I borrow it from her (and I often take what books my grandma thinks I should read). And while the reading has been slow going (before yesterday I don't think I had picked up the book in more than 3 weeks) I've really enjoyed it. If you think about her now, who doesn't absolutely adore Julie Andrews? Sound of Music, Mary Poppins, and the list goes on and on. 

I always thought I was one who saw things relatively well. I have always noticed the flowers along the road and the changing colors of the leaves but I think there are additional details, additional perspectives you see with different people, different experiences. And I'm glad I can still meet new people and learn new things from them. 

It's also interesting how your perspective of yourself changes. I think it's harder to view yourself objectively, too many internal feelings screwing up the brain process. This can be especially true as your growing and trying to figure out who you are as a person. For Julie Andrews, she could have never known the success she would have in entertainment; at the age of 17, she also didn't know she was talented enough to have a long-lasting career:

"In spite of the success of Cinderella, I still didn't feel that I would have an ongoing career. I could perform in radio, vaudeville, and pantomime -- but I felt that with Cinderella, my career had peaked."

So, what aren't you seeing? In yourself or in your surroundings?

I'd rather fold laundry

Tonight, I need to go home and call my dad. I have to ask him for $1,000. I have a ridiculous dental situation. Worst mix of genetics and happenstance I've ever known. And sadly, the once "who needs "$1700 a year in dental work" dental insurance is now far short of what I need (and the getting away so I can be independent has me paying back ridiculous out-of-state student loans on a salary from the place I earned that degree and that independence).

I've needed to call my dad since Sunday. He probably has the money. If he does, he'll give it to me. But I don't want to have the NEED to ask for it. A bit part of moving away and going to college and getting a job was to be INDEPENDENT. I've wanted to be independent since probably the age of 6 or 7 when I learned what the word meant.

I've had several things to do this week on my list. Might be the weather or just tasks I don't want to do but the remaining ones includes folding the 5 piles of laundry on my couch and calling my dad. I'm the kind of person who will do things I don't like doing before doing things I REALLY don't like doing.

I will probably fold the laundry first.

Summer '10

So, another summer going by way too quickly. And this bothers me even though:
a) I still work the same schedule. Damn, that whole "adult" thing.
b) I hate, hate HATE the Kansas summer, specifically, the humidity. Jetpack to September, please? October, since I'm wishing for things!

But it's been a fun summer. Float trips and camping and drinks on The Sandbar patio and staying up too late having some fun with a hilarious group of friends.

And perceptions have changed. It's surreal how the way you view someone can change so quickly. And as much as I believe in life happening based on the decisions you make, it's almost comforting to realize that people and events sometimes get in your way for a reason. A reason, you don't quite understand or know. Because sometimes you have to learn a few lessons before you can recognize something.

Happy summer.

He's just awkward

My sister and I realized a few weeks ago that our dad doesn't quite know what to do with us. We're grown up. I moved away, went to college and started a life in another state. My sister is practically a stay at home step-mom to a 5 year old (adorable) little boy. She's only 22. She and her boyfriend own a house with a cat and a dog. The last time I was home, I realized my dad is just totally awkward at her house. I don't think he love her boyfriend, but he certainly can't hate him. It's like he doesn't know what to do with two grown daughters. He still gives us money and will be coming to help me move next weekend. But he doesn't need to lecture us (not that he did much anyway) or try and keep us in line.  But he can't quite figure out how to be a Dad to two grown women.

I guess life is full of weird transition issues.

I will now interupt your lovely spring time with my EMOTIONS

I spent the second half of my commute (the whole 10 minutes of it) home today dissolving into a mess of tears.

Because sometimes life makes your heart swell
And then life cracks it a little bit
And then life tries to fix it, but the nail it's using to try and fix it makes it hurt a little bit more
And then you just feel heartbroken. About everything.

I don't think I was ready for change this year. Friends leaving physically, friends giving up emotionally, and an emotional roller coaster ride of "I don't know what to do about the thing that I can't do anything about".

I have a CLOSE friend who has been living in Japan since the middle of 2008 and I wasn't as emotional about her moving then as I am about things now. Maybe because I had just graduated from college and I was EXPECTING change. I understood it. I was in the middle of change of my own.

But now, movie trailers about a silly horse (ok, the IMPOSSIBLE true story) and the rain can make me cry without much resistance.

Today might also be the result of my freshman college roommate's wedding over the weekend. I didn't cry much - okay, I got a little teary-eyed - but just being around her family and the outpouring of LOVE that happens when, for 48 hours, you celebrate two people's LOVE for each other makes you (I mean me) a little more tender-hearted then usual. And TRUST me, I am pretty sure I was tender-hearted enough.

Shiny new things

When my sister and I were little, we would cut pictures of people and things from our mom's old catalogs and magazines.
Women and men sporting the latest trends became the moms an dads of the little 2D lives we created - on roadtrips, at our grandparents, whenever we were feeling creative. The moms and dads had 2 or 3 or 7 children (I think we wanted more siblings when we were young). A dog or two, maybe a cat. Fancy beds with fancier bedding. Perfectly coordinated furniture for our grand rooms where our families lived. All cut out, shiny and arranged neatly.  So easy to believe, at the age of 10, that life simply fell into place with the snip of the scissors. Maybe because we wished our family had more. And maybe because we thought are parents just weren't choosing correctly.
But really, you can plan your life out as much as you'd like and still never get the shiny, perfectly life you've created in your head.

Would you want to Flash Forward?

New episodes of Flash Forward have returned and although it is a little tedious watching, there is something extremely compelling to this show.  Everyone in the world (with the exception of a few shady characters) blacks out for about 7 minutes. During this time, each person experiences what they will be doing at a certain time, months in the future. Those with no vision, discover they'll be dead (or sleeping, in my mind?!) One character sees a return to alcoholism. Another has a life with a man who is not her husband in the present. Some visions are not always negative. Someone discovers she will be pregnant in the future, another is getting married.

While the overall story is trying to figure out who cause the blackout, each and every individual must figure out how to act because of what they see in the future. Some people want what they see in their future, some people are doing everything they can to avoid it.

The interesting thing is, despite people being shown what they're future is, some are still fighting against what they're seeing. But is what they're seeing they're fate? What they can't change? Maybe by seeing their "future" it is actually putting into motion a series of events that WILL cause what they see to happen.

Fate versus free will is such a complex discussion because you can never really prove anything, one way or another, can you? We can't say, okay, let's go back 10 years and change one decision and see if something else happens? Or does what happens stay the same? Can one flap of a butterfly's wings really have an impact across the world?

I'm not one to believe that where I am now, was pre-destined when I was born. Decisions were made- by my parents, my family, my teachers, my friends- that shaped me to be the person I am right now and how I in turn treat people and shape people just be interacting with them.

I know how I came to be in Lawrence, KS. In 8th grade, I decided I wanted to write for a newspaper. So, I joined my high school newspaper, did extracurricular activities to make sure I had good application for college, researched J-Schools, listened to my mom's friends input about KU's J-School, requested information about KU, fell in love with the viewbook they sent me, visited, listened to my mom about how KU seemed like a better fit for me than MU after I visited both (it helped that tuition was lower, too). I switched from News and Info, when I got to KU, to Strategic Communications because I wanted to be an advocate (for something worthwhile) rather than being an objective reporter. Oh, and in all likely hood, it would pay better...

So, I believe the decisions I made, the values I hold in my life, led me to where I am today. But right now, there's something I have to count on fate for. Once your life intertwines with others, things become even more complicated. When dating someone, and you throw in a few life changes and a few hours distance, you sometimes simply have to wait and see what happens in the next four months. Unfortunately, I get antsy when I have to be patient (if only I could catch a glimpse of this part of my life - would be helpful in current decisions on how to proceed).

So fate, please be kind to me with this. I haven't always believed in you, but I sure could use your help on this.

Deep breath

Last Friday, I made plans to go see a movie with friends over in KC. I rushed home after work, changed clothes, attempted to redo my makeup and stuffed a snack in my purse (and by purse, I mean giant bag that will fit snacks enough for 10 people attending a movie - that's how I roll...) and hit the road. The minute my tires exited the Lawrence city limits and my spedometer cruised to 70 (okay, probably 78) I felt like a different person. I reflected on the previous 2 weeks. My shoulders felt 20 pounds lighter, I turned up the radio and sang to every obnoxious pop song that came on the radio. I made myself laugh at a joke about Train, Collective Soul and being confused about being in the 90s again. I would have tweeted it if I hadn't been going 75, ok 80 miles per hour. Holy cow, I've been stressed and was not even dealing with it. I've been focused on some changes at work and getting into a workout routine. I've been freaking out about my limited cash flow -well, more about the paycheck I can't keep because of all my student loans.

I realized I had not been out of Lawrence since I returned home after Christmas with my family. I love this town, but two months without leaving this Lawrence is too long. Sometimes, you just need a change of pace or change of scenery. I was definitely getting a change this evening. I got some good KC BBQ and saw Alice in Wonderland in 3D. I vented to friends about other friends' stupidity and the changes at work. We talked wedding plans (not MINE of course) and job searches.

But I still had things to do last weekend. But got none of them done Saturday because of what I would call a depression like state. I am not actually depressed but last Saturday was awful. All my stress had built up and was now falling down and crushing me. And I was sitting on the couch letting it. So, I made a decision last Sunday to get up and do the things I needed and wanted to do. I went to the gym. I hate some fruits and veggies, I went on a walk with some friends at a park, I went to the grocery store and bought some good-for-me and yummy food. I came home and cooked. I was in a better mood because I had decided to be. Despite the stress.

I'm trying to be POSITIVE here...

There's been lots of stuff that's happened in the 9 weeks of this year that I'd rather pretend didn't happen. But instead of complaining about THAT, I'm going to talk about the fun/awesome things that DID happen.

My boss called me feisty yesterday which I'm totally okay with.

I was asked if I had a 5 year plan. After staring blankly at the people who asked I said "I don't." A few hours later, I realized I'm also totally okay with this.

As a part of my job, I help students plan to get their degree. Sometimes I receive not so nice emails. But sometimes I receive emails that I love. Here is one:

"I received my diploma today, 2-22-10, in the mail. I will be forever grateful to you."

I love that.

The KU Men's Basketball team is rockin' the '09-'10 season. Every Saturday this month I've spent at least 2 hours watching basketball. That makes for a good Saturday! Three more games left in the season and 3 more wins until the team has won 2,000 games overall. That's. A. Lot. Of. Games. They are 12-0 in conference play and they have also already clinched at least a part of the Big 12 title. That's 6 seasons in a row. That's called OWNING the Big 12. Okay, I'll stop gloating now... (But I LOVE KU basketball!)

(Disclosure: KU DID lose 1 game this season, but that was ALLL the way at the beginning of January. Practically a different season!)

Photo from kusports.com

Becca: "we need to make a fort or something and make it a no-drama zone"

Truer words have never been spoken.

So who has a set of construction plans for a really sweet (and drama-resistant) fort?

Rules

A couple years ago, I discovered my aunt had kept a list of "rules" my cousins and I had made when we were kids playing together at a family gathering. She ended up shrinking the list, making copies, laminating and making magnets from it; because really, what more basic rules do you need for life than the ones you create when you are 8 years old? So, I give you: The Rules.

Thoughts:

This one I keep on my desk at work. My aunt's boyfriend actually keeps copies of the list at meetings he goes to for his company. A fun and cute aspect to any business meeting, but also a reminder to "play nice". An important thing even as a grown-up.

I was 8-years old and while I did go on, at the tender age of 11, to win the 5th grade spelling bee at my elementary school (it was BIG time!) I didn't know SPITTING had two 't's. But I still think no SPITING is just as important of a rule. 2 rules in 1. Genius.

Despite this list being created in approximately 1993, I pretty much know why each rule made the list.

#1, #2 and #4 were because there were boy cousins. And any boy under the age of 10 (well, any age really) needs to learn to keep their hands to themselves.

#3 probably came from my sister who, at the age of 5, needed to know everything, much like myself. But we kept secrets from her because SHE didn't know how to keep a secret.

#5 was probably also from my sister who thought I was a big meanie and always got her into trouble (I was only able to avoid trouble myself because I spoke softly while my sister yelled for the whole house to hear - so she attracted the punishment. Not my fault I was a clever fighter!)

#6 was definitely from me because I was (still am?) completely insecure and worried no one liked me. Even my cousins. I like, well LOVE my cousins and am still somewhat close to them today. So them including me was important.

#7 Our parents raised us (somewhat) well so we were (sometimes still are) responsible children. And responsible children shared their toys (or video game controllers).

#8 It lasted until my sister was 18 (and I was 21) but she and I argued more than any other children my parents knew. We were good kids, but we could infuriate each other more than any other individual on this planet. We still can, we've just learned how not to. Most of the time. So I'm pretty sure our cousins added this to the list to keep us in line. Because if it was a kid rule, it was gold.

Piece of Me

1. "You can do anything. But you can't do everything." - David Allen (found via sunshine and wine)

It drives me crazy not to be caught up on what's in my Google Reader but I keep adding so many blogs to it (you people are hilarious!) there are usually at least 400 unread items. Sometimes, like when my laptop stops working, it reads 1,000+ and I can hardly handle the stress. I have the same problem with work and personal email. I will read it and deal with it later (or forget it exists).

2. "I watch you spin around in the highest heels / You are the best one, of the best ones -Dashboard Confessional

Delicious is my new favorite tool. I use it to bookmark lyrics of amazing new songs that catch my interest on my Pandora Ray LaMontagne station, recipes, or laugh-out-loud-and-your-coworkers-probably-think-your-crazy blog entries by fun new bloggers you've found (like Marie Antoinette).

3. "Please forgive me if I act a little strange / feels like lightning running through my veins" - David Gray

I hate not having a solution. Especially when it involves other people. But right now, we're at a stand still. And my heart is aching because of it. I can't let go but it's not happening right now. I hate the phrase "wait and see" but I guess we'll have to.

What Matters Now

I will straight up admit I got this excerpt from lauren nicole love. Thanks to her for finding amazing things :)

An excerpt from Elizabeth Gilbert's book What Matters Now (a free eBook here)

We are the strivingest people who have ever lived. We are ambitious, time-starved, competitive, distracted. We move at full velocity, yet constantly fear we are not doing enough. Though we live longer than any humans before us, our lives feel shorter, restless, breathless...

Dear ones, EASE UP. Pump the brakes. Take a step back. Seriously. Take two steps back. Turn off all your electronics and surrender over all your aspirations and do absolutely nothing for a spell. I know, I know – we all need to save the world. But trust me: The world will still need saving tomorrow. In the meantime, you’re going to have a stroke soon (or cause a stroke in somebody else) if you don’t calm the hell down.

So go take a walk. Or don’t. Consider actually exhaling. Find a body of water and float. Hit a tennis ball against a wall. Tell your colleagues that you’re off meditating (people take meditation seriously, so you’ll be absolved from guilt) and then actually, secretly, nap.

My radical suggestion? Cease participation, if only for one day this year – if only to make sure that we don’t lose forever the rare and vanishing human talent of appreciating ease.

7 days to celebrate

At 330pm on Thursday, December 17, I emailed my final paper to the instructor for my grad class this semester. I felt that 50 pounds had been lifted off my shoulder. Grad school wasn't the worst idea/decision I made this year but it is definitely high on the list.

I could have used a drink that night after work but, having been knee deep in research regarding state funding of public universities, I realized I had 7 days left to get all my Christmas celebrating in. So Thursday night, I cleaned the house. My roommate and I had both been all over the place for about two weeks, so the place had been a little neglected. And I was having a guest over Friday night and thought it would be good hostessing to have the place at least LOOK clean. Friday at lunch I grabbed some wrapping paper and starter logs for my fireplace. (I ended up not needing the logs because, WEIRD, I had a GAS fireplace. Oops.) Thankfully, the man (did I mention I was having a dinner guest?!) did his thing and got the fireplace going without blowing us up. Phew.

Saturday I did some shopping, watched the KU men's basketball team win its 10th game of the year. I wasted time watching movies and re-watching the So You Think You Can Dance top 6 dances. Then I put pins in my hair, green shadow on my eyelids, gray pumps on my feet and went downtown to see a big band (18 pieces!) and drink rum and cokes (please, don't tell my dentist or periodontist!)
Today I actually worked out (for the first time since before thanksgiving), went to the grocery store and made ranchburgers.

Ohmygosh, I have free time and I'm actually getting stuff done?! And enjoying the weekend? This is what I miss out on when I'm worrying 95% of the time about grad school work.

So yeah, grad school. Officially un-enrolled. I withdrew. I'm a grad school drop out. I should still probably let the program director know, but details schmetails. I'm glad I tried it. I'm also glad that I recognize it's not something I can continue. I've had my fill of classroom learning. I want to get out there and do things. Not write 20-page papers about the crappy funding state universities receive.

So, now I appreciate my free time now. And my ability to seek opportunities outside of school. After this year, after what I've tried, where I failed, what I've gained, the people I've met... I'm sure both wonderful and important things will happen next year. And now, I'll have more time to savor it all.

In a perfect world

Briana: When we have our own event planning company, our hours won't start until 10 AM (because of all of the late night events we'll have of course) but we'll aim to be at the gym together by 8 AM to exercise and get coffee. (at least in my head :) )
And every night a certain someone will sing me this song:


In a perfect world. I think I'll work on it.

But right now, I took the day off from work so I could work on my paper due for class on Thursday. So, I should probably actually do some writing.