Cougars and beer pong and trying to be a professional

A friend from one of my very first classes in college posted this on his facebook this morning:

People in the office were discussing what "Cougar" means. They were all giving their definitions and decided to come to my office and ask me. After hearing my definition the boss said, "Alright, that's enough!"

It made me laugh because, as much as you think you've moved on past college, sometimes you are reminded that you are still closer to the college experience than anyone else in your office. 

Sometimes, just working on a college campus makes it tricky to be considered a "professional".

Student groups chalk all over the sidewalk about upcoming events, elections and keggers. Yes, they chalk about parties. One such chalking promoted a "beer pong tournament". An advisor down the hall wondered aloud what it was. Our office does skew young but for some reason, I was the only one willing to explain the setup, rules and purpose of beer pong: two sets of beer on a ping pong table, you bounce ping pong balls to the other side's cups, you make the pong in, the other team drinks, everyone gets drunk. 

A few weeks ago, I went to work a recruiting event on campus for high school juniors. HIGH. SCHOOL. JUNIORS. Granted, I was pretty casual this Friday and it had been rainy so I probably wasn't looking my best after my cross-campus trek, but the orientation coordinator told me "check-in starts at 9:30". Well, yes, check-in for the HIGH SCHOOL JUNIORS starts at 9:30 but I had to check in as a representative of college I work for. She was apologetic but I just smiled and started to set up my table of flyers promoting the many degree options we offer. 

Recently, a few of us in our mid-twenties were talking about our job and how people don't respect our authority simply because we still "look like a student". It is nice though when "someone with more authority" tells them the exact same thing.

Anyone else still look like a student when they aren't anymore?

spring

me

scorpio, from mythology: The battle ended in Orion's death and Zeus put the scorpion in the heavens as a constellation to remind us to be humble.

Basically, an introvert is a person who is energized by being alone and whose energy is drained by being around other people. (Introverts make up about 60% of the gifted population but only about 25-40% of the general population.)


My strengths (from Gallup):
People strong in the Input theme have a craving to know more. Often they like to collect and archive all kinds of information.

People strong in the Individualization theme are intrigued with the unique qualities of each person. They have a gift for figuring out how people who are different can work together productively.

People strong in the Belief theme have certain core values that are unchanging. Out of these values emerges a defined purpose for their life.

People strong in the Empathy theme can sense the feelings of other people by imagining themselves in others' lives or others' situations.

People strong in the Restorative theme are adept at dealing with problems. They are good at figuring out what is wrong and resolving it. 

I keep meaning to do a more thorough entry on each one of my strengths and what they mean to me. Not only individually but as a whole as well. We completed the StrengthsQuest through my office at work and I was surprised how much it made sense. It made me value (hey BELIEF) certain things and ways I act different, which I appreciated (hey INDIVIDUALIZATION).

It's impossible to get a true snapshot of who someone is through any test but I appreciate my Strengths giving an overview of why I act the way I do.

The chains of destiny

"It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead. The chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time." -Winston Churchill

I may have mentioned before that I don't currently have a plan as to what I want to do in the future. I'm living in the now. Not planning my days or goals because of what I want in two years. Or four years. I'm working, I'm laughing and enjoying my life. But recently I've been consumed about what I want to happen in the future. Things that I can't control. Things that are, without question, a part of my destiny. Now, I do have control of my destiny. But some things you don't have the ability to control or change yet. 


But I'm impatient. And I feel like I should have some control. I should be able to know. It's my life, right?

Monday Musings

I don't even know what happened at KC's Country Club Plaza Saturday night.There seem to be details I'm missing. Or, I've heard the whole story and it's just that inexplicable. Interesting though, that it was teenagers using Twitter and Facebook to organize. But WHY is the big questions. Just weird.

Since both Alec Baldwin and Meryl Streep showed up in my dream last night, I'm going to be in their next movie, right? RIGHT?! Or, maybe a sign I should rent "It's Complicated".


My back and shoulders are aching because of the first day of softball yesterday. A double header is not a good way to start the season. But it was fun and the weather was gorgeous! Now if I could only stop embarrassing myself by slipping on first base, I'd be good. But speaking of softball, a letter, to the girl playing with mono:

Dear girl with mono playing softball,
If you really have mono (still skeptical) kudos for you for getting out there. But PLEASE don't complain about our pitcher tagging you out with his glove on your hip where it could have ruptured your spleen. Because 1) he didn't tag you that hard and 2) you're PLAYING SOFTBALL in 75 degree weather and running and swinging. I think your spleen has other issues than a tag out.
If you really don't have mono, please stop pretending you do. Other than that, I have no comment because it's just sad to lie about being sick.

You're lucky I didn't step on you when you were laying on the base I was trying to get to,
Bailey


EDIT: Don't wear heals when you're sore from softball. It's just silly.

Change

It's easy to struggle with change. Human beings prefer patterns and predictability. I'm working on a post that involves change and perspective and people and personal strengths. I'm a little disappointed I didn't get it done today but I was outside enjoying the weather.

But these are the two quotes that have got me thinking about the in-progress post. Garden State is my all time favorite movie (much do to the quote listed before) and the Miranda Lambert lyrics just really made an impact.

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healin'
Out here it's like I'm someone else,
I thought that maybe I could find myself
If I could just come in I swear I'll leave
Won't take nothin' but a memory from the house that built me

"The House That Built Me" - Miranda Lambert

You'll see one day when you move out it just sort of happens one day and 
it's gone. You feel like you can never get it back. It's like you feel 
homesick for a place that doesn't even exist. Maybe it's like this rite 
of passage, you know. You won't ever have this feeling again until you 
create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the
 family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I don't know, but I 
miss the idea of it, you know. Maybe that's all family really is. A 
group of people that miss the same imaginary place.
-Andrew in "Garden State" 

confidence vs. self-esteem

Walking with a friend recently, we were discussing the latest in our lives: family illnesses, friends and our current dating situations.

She's recently made it "official" with the guy she's dating. I can tell he is making her happy but what I love about her is that as happy as she is right now with him, she doesn't know -or is worrying- about what will happen in their future (which is how dating should be- getting to know someone in the now).

What gets me is her not quite believing she deserves him: "of course you do" I responded. She went on to explain that the feeling comes from her low self-esteem. As she explained further, I thought about myself in regards to working hard, being the good person I think I am and what I deserve. Generally, I think I do deserve the things I work hard for and the relationships (of any kind) that I build. But my problem, I told to my walking buddy, is my confidence. And there, I realized, confidence and self-esteem, while two very similar things, are still very distinct in how they alter our behavior.

My cofidence deficiency means I often question my ability in almost everything: work, dating, general social interactions... It has become better since getting through college and adjusting to my job but it's always still there...just a little bit. It's particularly noticable when I have a falling out with people because "what did I do"? After the initial hurt, frustration and debate with myself, my self-esteem kicks in: these friends weren't actually that important in my life -or- we've parted ways  so I can bring people who will have a greater impact on who I am and what I do. Because why spend time on people who don't give a crap about you?

So there we were, my friend with her too-low self-esteem doubting whether she deserved certain things in her life, and me doubting what I could actually accomplish. Thank goodness we have each other to set the other one straight.

Things to Share

Real intimacy, in short, brings up our unfinished business-- all the rough spots in ourselves and in our partner that still need to be polished, refined, and further developed.
-Thanks to Your Ill-fitting Overcoat


Hell for a Geek.


I solemnly swear I'm up to no good.

Can I start this over?

Downside of today:
I couldn't get into my car because the keypad stopped working (and no, the key doesn't work either, don't ask).
I have lost my ability to get faculty members to do what I want when it comes to advising students. I'd like that back please.

Upside of today:
I started a new bank account (fresh start, people, fresh start!)
I got my teeth clean (and while they are sensitive) they feel really good!
I have great friends who are willing to rush to my side at a moment's notice to help. FIVE of them were willing to help me out this morning! In the rain! On a Monday morning! <3
It is Margarita Monday and I'm going to have like 5 (because I won't be able to drink for the next 28 days- also a downside, I guess).

Shiny new things

When my sister and I were little, we would cut pictures of people and things from our mom's old catalogs and magazines.
Women and men sporting the latest trends became the moms an dads of the little 2D lives we created - on roadtrips, at our grandparents, whenever we were feeling creative. The moms and dads had 2 or 3 or 7 children (I think we wanted more siblings when we were young). A dog or two, maybe a cat. Fancy beds with fancier bedding. Perfectly coordinated furniture for our grand rooms where our families lived. All cut out, shiny and arranged neatly.  So easy to believe, at the age of 10, that life simply fell into place with the snip of the scissors. Maybe because we wished our family had more. And maybe because we thought are parents just weren't choosing correctly.
But really, you can plan your life out as much as you'd like and still never get the shiny, perfectly life you've created in your head.

Famous Iowans

"I miss the certain smell in Iowa when it’s about to rain. I miss how quiet it is. I miss having neighbors that I know and that I like. The thing I probably miss most of all is that people in Iowa have a different, genuine quality and a self-sufficient humility, a desire to do things for themselves and not complain." {Ashton Kutcher}

Would you want to Flash Forward?

New episodes of Flash Forward have returned and although it is a little tedious watching, there is something extremely compelling to this show.  Everyone in the world (with the exception of a few shady characters) blacks out for about 7 minutes. During this time, each person experiences what they will be doing at a certain time, months in the future. Those with no vision, discover they'll be dead (or sleeping, in my mind?!) One character sees a return to alcoholism. Another has a life with a man who is not her husband in the present. Some visions are not always negative. Someone discovers she will be pregnant in the future, another is getting married.

While the overall story is trying to figure out who cause the blackout, each and every individual must figure out how to act because of what they see in the future. Some people want what they see in their future, some people are doing everything they can to avoid it.

The interesting thing is, despite people being shown what they're future is, some are still fighting against what they're seeing. But is what they're seeing they're fate? What they can't change? Maybe by seeing their "future" it is actually putting into motion a series of events that WILL cause what they see to happen.

Fate versus free will is such a complex discussion because you can never really prove anything, one way or another, can you? We can't say, okay, let's go back 10 years and change one decision and see if something else happens? Or does what happens stay the same? Can one flap of a butterfly's wings really have an impact across the world?

I'm not one to believe that where I am now, was pre-destined when I was born. Decisions were made- by my parents, my family, my teachers, my friends- that shaped me to be the person I am right now and how I in turn treat people and shape people just be interacting with them.

I know how I came to be in Lawrence, KS. In 8th grade, I decided I wanted to write for a newspaper. So, I joined my high school newspaper, did extracurricular activities to make sure I had good application for college, researched J-Schools, listened to my mom's friends input about KU's J-School, requested information about KU, fell in love with the viewbook they sent me, visited, listened to my mom about how KU seemed like a better fit for me than MU after I visited both (it helped that tuition was lower, too). I switched from News and Info, when I got to KU, to Strategic Communications because I wanted to be an advocate (for something worthwhile) rather than being an objective reporter. Oh, and in all likely hood, it would pay better...

So, I believe the decisions I made, the values I hold in my life, led me to where I am today. But right now, there's something I have to count on fate for. Once your life intertwines with others, things become even more complicated. When dating someone, and you throw in a few life changes and a few hours distance, you sometimes simply have to wait and see what happens in the next four months. Unfortunately, I get antsy when I have to be patient (if only I could catch a glimpse of this part of my life - would be helpful in current decisions on how to proceed).

So fate, please be kind to me with this. I haven't always believed in you, but I sure could use your help on this.

restraint, respect and consideration

I knew I liked Canada!

March Sadness

Being a college basketball fan almost guarantees sadness at the end of the season. Because you always want your team to win the big dance. And MOST years, that doesn't happen. But THIS year, KU fans had high expectations. And a team from my home state crushed those expectations. Hard. UNI simply played better.

My only consolation is that 47% of the brackets filled out on espn.com had KU winning the whole thing. That's something like 2 million brackets. Trust me when I say most of those are NOT KU fans. That's a whole lot of busted brackets.

Rock Chalk and yours in true March Sadness,
Bailey

I don't mean to sound morbid...

...but as a single woman, I've decided I'm glad I have people knowing what I'm doing. Facebook, Twitter, and the dreaded check-in services (personally, I'm a fan of Whrrl).

I've heard arguments that (especially as a single woman) these sites are dangerous. People know EXACTLY where you are if you check in constantly. They know your habits, know where you like to shop and what bar you like to visit on Mondays after work for margaritas with friends.

But for me, I've realized, that's a GOOD thing. I'm not broadcasting my home address (my friends already know where I live). Any number of weird things could happen in public - no matter where I'm at and no matter if I twitter about it or not- and the odds of it happening because of someone who I'm friends with on Facebook are low.

Thinking about it, I'm more worried about the other people in the world than the people who know me "online". And because of that, I think having a Facebook and twittering about my life are actually good things. Helpful, even.

A few months ago, when my friend Ashlee was actually using her Twitter account, she jokingly said for me to call her mom if she hadn't tweeted by noon every day. I asked her to do the same thing. We laughed but thinking about it now (and here's the morbid part) if something WERE to happen to me (KNOCK ON WOOD, please) I'm pretty sure what I was sharing online would be a helpful part of figure out where the heck I was all day and who I was spending time with.

Last weekend, when my roommate was gone, I decided to go for a walk. It was the middle of the day, but WHAT IF? My roommate would have come home a few days later to discover the cats hadn't been fed in days and if it was a work week (and I hadn't taken taken those days off for vacation) I'm pretty sure my coworkers would be concerned and call, etc.

But if the last thing I had done online was post a Facebook status about "taking a walk" I'm pretty dang sure that would be helpful to the police searching for me.

So, don't feel weird if you know where I am or what I'm doing a lot of the time. I am totally okay with that.

/morbid post over

Being Social

I still live in the college town where I went to school. I happen to love this. I get to enjoy people, places and things very unlike how I did when I was a student (I have more time now, strictly working 40 hours a week when, as an undergrad, I had a full-time schedule, p/t job and double full-time activities load).

A few months after I started my full-time job, my closest friend Megan, moved to Japan with her boyfriend, now husband. Other than friends who were still in school, I didn't know many people other than my coworkers and my friend Ryan (late 2008 we spent most of our time watching episodes of LOST and Six Feet Under - we were exciting). And friends who moved to Kansas City might as well fallen off the end of the earth as often as I get to see them... (they clearly forgot how awesome Lawrence is).

Last winter (Feb 2008) my friend Briana dragged me to, what she was calling, a "tweetup". Yes, I was using twitter and conversing with local people, but did I actually want to meet these people?!

Short answer: yes, of course I did!

Now the people I've met via Twitter I see almost weekly. We have Lawrence Margarita Mondays at The Sandbar, lunch a few times a month, dinner sporadically and, every so often, shenanigans down on Mass Street (I even found someone to crash with while I was in between leases). This is in addition to the official monthly tweetups hosted by the Lawrence Tweetup organization.

Tonight, I'm heading to the Re:fresh! Art Show at the Barrel House downtown after Lawrence Margarita Mondays and the local tweeters get a VIP box!

Cheers to being social!

selection sunday

Yesterday, I was home for about 2 seconds.
Today, I've barely left the couch. I like to mix it up! I'll blame it on my anticipation for Selection Sunday. Which is ironic, since 7 years ago I had no idea what Selection Sunday was. But then I went to KU for school. A couple months later, I went to my first basketball game. I've been hooked ever since.

KU is the #1 #1 seed. Considered the best college men's basketball team in the country.

Here's to 6 more wins this season! Rock Chalk!

Deep breath

Last Friday, I made plans to go see a movie with friends over in KC. I rushed home after work, changed clothes, attempted to redo my makeup and stuffed a snack in my purse (and by purse, I mean giant bag that will fit snacks enough for 10 people attending a movie - that's how I roll...) and hit the road. The minute my tires exited the Lawrence city limits and my spedometer cruised to 70 (okay, probably 78) I felt like a different person. I reflected on the previous 2 weeks. My shoulders felt 20 pounds lighter, I turned up the radio and sang to every obnoxious pop song that came on the radio. I made myself laugh at a joke about Train, Collective Soul and being confused about being in the 90s again. I would have tweeted it if I hadn't been going 75, ok 80 miles per hour. Holy cow, I've been stressed and was not even dealing with it. I've been focused on some changes at work and getting into a workout routine. I've been freaking out about my limited cash flow -well, more about the paycheck I can't keep because of all my student loans.

I realized I had not been out of Lawrence since I returned home after Christmas with my family. I love this town, but two months without leaving this Lawrence is too long. Sometimes, you just need a change of pace or change of scenery. I was definitely getting a change this evening. I got some good KC BBQ and saw Alice in Wonderland in 3D. I vented to friends about other friends' stupidity and the changes at work. We talked wedding plans (not MINE of course) and job searches.

But I still had things to do last weekend. But got none of them done Saturday because of what I would call a depression like state. I am not actually depressed but last Saturday was awful. All my stress had built up and was now falling down and crushing me. And I was sitting on the couch letting it. So, I made a decision last Sunday to get up and do the things I needed and wanted to do. I went to the gym. I hate some fruits and veggies, I went on a walk with some friends at a park, I went to the grocery store and bought some good-for-me and yummy food. I came home and cooked. I was in a better mood because I had decided to be. Despite the stress.

Walk Kansas

There's nothing like being forced into an exercise challenge. Totally kidding. Kind of.

Actually, I don't know if I would have signed up for Walk Kansas on my own, but I'm glad I'm being guilted into it by my friend at Phera's Focus.

From what I can gather, it's a team of 6 (and anyone else you choose to force into the challenge by including them on an email list) that sets exercise and healthy eating goals for a few weeks beginning March 7. Hey! That's today!

Goals include 150 minutes of exercise for the week and eating a certain number of fruit/veggie servings every week.

I'm off to a good start today:
20 minutes on the elliptical and 15 minutes of weight machines
1 serving of fresh mixed fruit
1 serving of edamame (with a dash of salt!)

And I'm heading over soon to a park in town with a 2-3 mile walking/hiking trail with a couple twitter friends. The nice thing about knowing lots of people in town on twitter is being able to find someone to do SOMETHING with at almost any time night or day. This will PROBABLY be helpful in being motivated to get exercise. Also, motivating is the gorgeous spring weather we've been graced with here in NW Kansas. Fifty degrees?! YES, PLEASE!

I like the idea of this because it's not about losing X amount of weight or inches. It's about improving your lifestyle by becoming more active and eating healthier foods. It's also nice to have other people with the same goals to complete against/with. I certainly don't want to miss any goals that anyone else on my team are meeting!

apparently, compassion and the internet don't mix

While I'm not a practicing journalist, per se, it is one of my undergrad degrees. So, I'm all about free speech and expressing one's opinion. The best thing is, anyone can do it via the magic of the internet (see this blog).

But why, when we cross the line into the "world wide web" must we leave common decency at the door? I am all for dialogue and challenging people's ideas but what happens to people's compassion when they log in to comment on, well, anything. Blogs, youtube, twitter, anything. It's hard to communicate what you're actually trying to get across without facial expression or tone and the other person is JUST reading the words. So, I try and be extra nice. Add an extra :) Unless I'm trying to be sassy/feisty but even then I don't mean anything by it and those who I choose to communicate with know that (for the most part).

But that is certainly NOT the case with most people. The newspaper here in Lawrence, the Lawrence Journal-World, is notorious for its nasty comments/commentors. Maybe it is not any worse than other newspaper's site, but for a rather open and friendly community, it certainly does not reflect appropriately.

Recently (in the past 3 months, I'd guestimate), a woman who is a stripper at a local club started (anonymously) blogging on the website. She has written about how she began stripping, interesting occurrences on any given night and the politics of those who work in a strip club. It is certainly an interesting point of few for a profession that clearly isn't you typical every day job. Yet, the number of awful comments she has received is appalling. People who are (also anonymously) commenting waste no time passing out judgment and being just plain rude and mean because they can behind the cloak of the internet. Honestly, shouldn't you only express online what you would actually say to someone's face?

In my mind, if you don't agree with a subject or what someone chooses to do with their life, that's fine. But move along, there's plenty of other content on the web to keep you occupied.