Advertising, football and controversy: CBS's gray area.

I have a friend here in Lawrence, Scott Winer, who has an interesting perspective on the recent decision by CBS to not broadcast a commercial about a gay dating website during the Superbowl (<--do I have to pay for that?!) Definitely something you should check out.

As a graduate from KU's William Allen White School of Journalism, this is such an interesting situation. Ethically, socially and media-related.
The Superbowl is such a huge advertising phenomenon and every year the cost of a 30-second commercial and banned commercials is news-worthy. Thirty-seconds of air time for, usually, America's most prominent brands. Is Coke really going to convince us to drink more Coke? Especially if Pepsi doesn't advertise? Ironically, the fact that Pepsi IS NOT advertising is news. Especially since they are planning on donating the money. Basically, it's a big deal.

Specifically in this year's situation, it comes down to ethics. Going into Journalism, I always had the idea that you do/write about what is right. But after my Ethics class, I was definitely more aware of the gray areas in journalism; both in the areas of marketing/pr and reporting. Is CBS doing acting on what's "right" (whatever that is) or are they sticking to their policies that they've recently changed? Is it one in the same? I don't know as much as I could about the situation, so I don't know.

But what's "right" for the American people to view (because something like 83% of the U.S. watches the Superbowl - it's an incredibly American thing to be a part of) CBS, or whichever network broadcasts the game, gets to determine what's appropriate. Usually, the biggest offender is GoDaddy.com. It's gotten to the point, I believe, that they make commercials with the sole purpose of being rejected, getting attention to their commercials online anyway, without having to pay the cost of the Superbowl commercials.

So, I am not really sure what the right answer is. But it certainly is an interesting question.

"the risk that I'm takin' "

This song came out last year but I heard it this morning for the first time in awhile and I remembered how amazing it was. It's simply, a breathtaking, beautiful song. And the video is refreshingly sweet. And, of course, Beyonce is gorgeous.

Rules

A couple years ago, I discovered my aunt had kept a list of "rules" my cousins and I had made when we were kids playing together at a family gathering. She ended up shrinking the list, making copies, laminating and making magnets from it; because really, what more basic rules do you need for life than the ones you create when you are 8 years old? So, I give you: The Rules.

Thoughts:

This one I keep on my desk at work. My aunt's boyfriend actually keeps copies of the list at meetings he goes to for his company. A fun and cute aspect to any business meeting, but also a reminder to "play nice". An important thing even as a grown-up.

I was 8-years old and while I did go on, at the tender age of 11, to win the 5th grade spelling bee at my elementary school (it was BIG time!) I didn't know SPITTING had two 't's. But I still think no SPITING is just as important of a rule. 2 rules in 1. Genius.

Despite this list being created in approximately 1993, I pretty much know why each rule made the list.

#1, #2 and #4 were because there were boy cousins. And any boy under the age of 10 (well, any age really) needs to learn to keep their hands to themselves.

#3 probably came from my sister who, at the age of 5, needed to know everything, much like myself. But we kept secrets from her because SHE didn't know how to keep a secret.

#5 was probably also from my sister who thought I was a big meanie and always got her into trouble (I was only able to avoid trouble myself because I spoke softly while my sister yelled for the whole house to hear - so she attracted the punishment. Not my fault I was a clever fighter!)

#6 was definitely from me because I was (still am?) completely insecure and worried no one liked me. Even my cousins. I like, well LOVE my cousins and am still somewhat close to them today. So them including me was important.

#7 Our parents raised us (somewhat) well so we were (sometimes still are) responsible children. And responsible children shared their toys (or video game controllers).

#8 It lasted until my sister was 18 (and I was 21) but she and I argued more than any other children my parents knew. We were good kids, but we could infuriate each other more than any other individual on this planet. We still can, we've just learned how not to. Most of the time. So I'm pretty sure our cousins added this to the list to keep us in line. Because if it was a kid rule, it was gold.

this abyss

A just read this Le Love post and the title stopped my breath. I just recently wrote an email (yeah, I'm a wimp and put it in an email) that included the words: "worth fighting for". Quite a bit of feeling I don't normally share went into that email and, thankfully, I still don't regret it. Maybe because it wasn't totally rejected, but it certainly didn't move us forward, either. The (what seems to me GIANT) step backward was still there. There's this abyss between us and while we have to figure out our own lives, in these difference places, we're also eyeing the abyss, trying to see if one of us can make the leap across.

/depending on how this whole thing goes, this post may one day disappear. But I hope it doesn't.

Piece of Me

1. "You can do anything. But you can't do everything." - David Allen (found via sunshine and wine)

It drives me crazy not to be caught up on what's in my Google Reader but I keep adding so many blogs to it (you people are hilarious!) there are usually at least 400 unread items. Sometimes, like when my laptop stops working, it reads 1,000+ and I can hardly handle the stress. I have the same problem with work and personal email. I will read it and deal with it later (or forget it exists).

2. "I watch you spin around in the highest heels / You are the best one, of the best ones -Dashboard Confessional

Delicious is my new favorite tool. I use it to bookmark lyrics of amazing new songs that catch my interest on my Pandora Ray LaMontagne station, recipes, or laugh-out-loud-and-your-coworkers-probably-think-your-crazy blog entries by fun new bloggers you've found (like Marie Antoinette).

3. "Please forgive me if I act a little strange / feels like lightning running through my veins" - David Gray

I hate not having a solution. Especially when it involves other people. But right now, we're at a stand still. And my heart is aching because of it. I can't let go but it's not happening right now. I hate the phrase "wait and see" but I guess we'll have to.

What Matters Now

I will straight up admit I got this excerpt from lauren nicole love. Thanks to her for finding amazing things :)

An excerpt from Elizabeth Gilbert's book What Matters Now (a free eBook here)

We are the strivingest people who have ever lived. We are ambitious, time-starved, competitive, distracted. We move at full velocity, yet constantly fear we are not doing enough. Though we live longer than any humans before us, our lives feel shorter, restless, breathless...

Dear ones, EASE UP. Pump the brakes. Take a step back. Seriously. Take two steps back. Turn off all your electronics and surrender over all your aspirations and do absolutely nothing for a spell. I know, I know – we all need to save the world. But trust me: The world will still need saving tomorrow. In the meantime, you’re going to have a stroke soon (or cause a stroke in somebody else) if you don’t calm the hell down.

So go take a walk. Or don’t. Consider actually exhaling. Find a body of water and float. Hit a tennis ball against a wall. Tell your colleagues that you’re off meditating (people take meditation seriously, so you’ll be absolved from guilt) and then actually, secretly, nap.

My radical suggestion? Cease participation, if only for one day this year – if only to make sure that we don’t lose forever the rare and vanishing human talent of appreciating ease.

Happy Tears

I was in 9th grade when my emotional sensibilities kicked in. We watched "The Odyssey" in my English literature course and when Odysseus' wife, Penelope, realizes her husband has returned after 17 long years away, I wept for them. Thankfully, the lights were off in the classroom and my silent tears went mostly unnoticed by my classmates. That same year, I watched "City of Angels". And Nicolas Cage's previously unfelt pain was like my pain. He gave up everything for Meg Ryan and then she was gone. I set next to my friend since Kindergarten, Caroline, as we both tried to hide our tears. Apparently, we were saps.

But I didn't get it from any stranger: graduations, particularly important birthdays, high school dances, meaningful Christmas gifts, "Forever Young" by Rod Stewart; all produce tears from my mother's eyes. My sister and I used to make fun of her, now we embrace it. Especially since we're usually right there with her. My sister decided to make my mom a scrapbook of family photos for christmas. She started in October. I contributed scrapbooking materials, my sister's boyfriend picked out the book, and his son (my sister's semi-stepson) created his own page full of pictures and stickers. We decided weeks ago my mom would bawl like a baby when she opened it. A week or two before Christmas, she commented on this to her boyfriend's 5-year old son who responded, with alarm: "why will Cappy (Cathy) cry?". My sister told him our mom would be crying happy tears, not sad tears. But the tears came far before Christmas morning, when my mom eventually opened (and cried over) her scrapbook. Christmas Eve, she had my sister and I open identical presents. Small, silver bracelets that read"Sisters are different flowers from the same garden". A few glasses of wine in, and obviously, we were a little emotional about it.

A few times in the past couple months, I've found myself crying for no particular reason. Usually, in the car when I have nothing but my thoughts to keep me company or when an emotional song hits me, juuuust right.

Example:

• Laughed Until We Cried by Jason Aldean

More Jason Aldean music on iLike

But a lot of the time, I'm just thinking about all the good right now: my family, my high school friends, my college friends, my Lawrence friends, my coworkers, my job. Life isn't perfect, but I'm living it. Everyday, I'm doing what I want. I'm enjoying what I have. I'm dating someone and trying not to freak out or do that thing women do. I'm just glad I get to spend time with someone I am so grateful to have met this year who also happens to be an incredible person. Other than that, I don't want to push it.

So, there's all this good stuff? And I'm appreciating what I DO have, opposed to lamenting what I DON'T. I think that's what us humans would call happiness. And I'm thrilled to be there! May you always cry more happy tears!

7 days to celebrate

At 330pm on Thursday, December 17, I emailed my final paper to the instructor for my grad class this semester. I felt that 50 pounds had been lifted off my shoulder. Grad school wasn't the worst idea/decision I made this year but it is definitely high on the list.

I could have used a drink that night after work but, having been knee deep in research regarding state funding of public universities, I realized I had 7 days left to get all my Christmas celebrating in. So Thursday night, I cleaned the house. My roommate and I had both been all over the place for about two weeks, so the place had been a little neglected. And I was having a guest over Friday night and thought it would be good hostessing to have the place at least LOOK clean. Friday at lunch I grabbed some wrapping paper and starter logs for my fireplace. (I ended up not needing the logs because, WEIRD, I had a GAS fireplace. Oops.) Thankfully, the man (did I mention I was having a dinner guest?!) did his thing and got the fireplace going without blowing us up. Phew.

Saturday I did some shopping, watched the KU men's basketball team win its 10th game of the year. I wasted time watching movies and re-watching the So You Think You Can Dance top 6 dances. Then I put pins in my hair, green shadow on my eyelids, gray pumps on my feet and went downtown to see a big band (18 pieces!) and drink rum and cokes (please, don't tell my dentist or periodontist!)
Today I actually worked out (for the first time since before thanksgiving), went to the grocery store and made ranchburgers.

Ohmygosh, I have free time and I'm actually getting stuff done?! And enjoying the weekend? This is what I miss out on when I'm worrying 95% of the time about grad school work.

So yeah, grad school. Officially un-enrolled. I withdrew. I'm a grad school drop out. I should still probably let the program director know, but details schmetails. I'm glad I tried it. I'm also glad that I recognize it's not something I can continue. I've had my fill of classroom learning. I want to get out there and do things. Not write 20-page papers about the crappy funding state universities receive.

So, now I appreciate my free time now. And my ability to seek opportunities outside of school. After this year, after what I've tried, where I failed, what I've gained, the people I've met... I'm sure both wonderful and important things will happen next year. And now, I'll have more time to savor it all.

In a perfect world

Briana: When we have our own event planning company, our hours won't start until 10 AM (because of all of the late night events we'll have of course) but we'll aim to be at the gym together by 8 AM to exercise and get coffee. (at least in my head :) )
And every night a certain someone will sing me this song:


In a perfect world. I think I'll work on it.

But right now, I took the day off from work so I could work on my paper due for class on Thursday. So, I should probably actually do some writing.

December 9 Challenge. Something that really made you grow this year. That made you go to your edge and then some. What made it the best challenge of the year for you?

So, a few days late. But I'm really just being picky and choosy with this "best of 2009 blog thing". Sorry, I'm not yet a dedicated blogger!

What I learned? Sometimes you just judge people totally the wrong way and you make bad decisions. And even though you know (deep down) it's a bad decision you throw in some make-believe and it's the best thing ever. Then it changes. But you know what? The best thing about me, is that I learned from it. That I can appreciate new people for who they are and what they mean to me because you've seen your mistakes. And this is different. This is me, growing.

And then you laugh about it. And that feels REALLY good.


Also, on a completely unrelated note, is it wrong to "favorite your own tweets"? Because I've done that twice this week...

Visuals

I got a new phone a few weeks ago and have loved using the camera (5 megapixels - not too shabby!) Here's a few I've taken.

I hate that it gets dark so early, but dusk is my favorite time of day.


Blurry, but a cool image.


On West Campus.

Me on pre-Thanksgiving date night.


Lawrence's Old-Fashioned Christmas Parade yesterday:


Some of the carriages are gorgeous:


It was a VERY chilly morning:


So I got a latte while I worked on my paper for class (LOVE Henry's on 8th!)


Some new art in my mom's bedroom.


KU's men's basketball team is playing at UCLA this afternoon (lucky them, bet it's 40 degrees warmer there) so I'm going over to my friend Ryan's house to watch the game. Should actually be a good game. The last team we beat by like 60 points- it's rough being the #1 team in the country! Rock Chalk!

Coffee Shop Thoughts

Lawrence has no shortcomings when it comes to coffeeshops. And I've been to 3 today. I'm working on my paper for my ridiculous grad class. (But that's a whole other topic!)

I had to pick a current issue in higher education and write about the topic generally and how it applies to the school I profiled for my midterm (University of Iowa - Go Hawks!) The topic I picked was state funding of public higher education institutions. This, if you haven't been paying attention, has declined drastically in the past 10-15 years and is clearly an important issue surrounding state budgets currently (see: UC system, University of Kansas). I've had some good, current information to use, not that I've enjoyed writing any more, but the discovery of information part is nice.

The biggest problem with funding (and I'm generalizing here), even after a 12% cut for fiscal year 2010, is that revenues for the state are not at what were projected when the budget was created. So, more cuts necessary. But my thoughts about revenue, made me think about taxes (hopefully, increasing taxes, or cutting previously implemented tax breaks will be the next route, not cutting more spending) and how much more of the money I pay in taxes (from my pay check) goes towards the federal taxes and not state taxes. Which made me think: "if only we could distribute more money towards the state budget, rather than federal budget. Which, inevitably made me think "why can't we CHOOSE where our tax money goes?" (I guess that's what our elected officials do, but clearly THAT isn't working out great!) Not a completely brand new idea, I'm sure, but WHAT IF?! Unless there was a great threat that called for an act of war (imagine post-Septemeber 11), who would CHOOSE for their tax dollars to go towards a war? There are clearly MANY problems with this idea, but it's kind of nice to think about. Because if my state and federal governments are going to take the hundreds of dollars they do every month, I'd like it to go towards funding education at ALL levels- that should NEVER be cut. But that's just me.

Now, if only I could pump out words for my paper as quickly as I did for this blog entry.

take a look

Peter DeWolf is a writer with a blog. He shares personal stories and short stories and poems.

Some of what he writes just really sticks. Like this one.

Also, this line from a recent blog entry:

"He loves vagueness in writing, but not in life."

Nothing has ever seemed more true.

I love finding words that I've never before read yet understand completely.

words to save/or

~Live Simply * Love Generously * Care Deeply * Speak Kindly~

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.

On second thought...

This past week, I came to a realization. I don't LIKE my graduate program. Let me tell you, this is a very unsettling thing to realize. I thought about doing this higher education admin program before I even left undergrad, but the thought of my student loans from my out of state tuition gave me good reason to find a job that paid more than $9 an hour. So a few months after graduation, I was hired for my current job. I found out that I could take one class a semester and have it paid for by my current employer? Great, right?

Being a goal-minded person, I looked into the higher education admin program because, well, that's pretty much what I was doing and why the heck not get a master's degree? I applied this past February, was admitted and took my first elective over the summer. It was a tad overwhelming, simply due to the fast paced nature of the summer class and because I was super busy with other things in my life. But I survived, and they didn't kick me out, so I continued this fall.

I realized last week that my loans would not be deferred because I was a student again - shoot! It dawned on me that I was only tolerating the work because it made my budget easier to handle (that happens when you don't have to pay your student loans) and that is probably the WORST reason to be in school. A coworker said she had so much more fun in grad school than as an undergrad. I stared at her in disbelief. Granted, I'm working full-time and doing school part-time, but I don't think grad school is something you do because you "should" but because you "want" to. I also realized, I don't think advising/working at a university is something I'll do forever. I like it now, but I sometimes think I would like to go back to my j-school degree and do the marketing thing. But who knows what will happen. That's the exciting part, right?! I do know, another coworker went through the same grad program and she said it only goes down hill from the class I'm in now. And she completed it full-time, which took 2 years. We both are that rare post-undergrad that ENJOYS working opposed to missing the life of a college student and constant classwork. So, I'm taking her thoughts on the program very seriously. She still feels that, 6 months later, she's recovering from being in the program.

What I really would like to change about my life is the amount of income I have. I don't want to change my job - I genuinely enjoy it and the people I work with. I would like to explore new things and take risks. And if I have 10 hours a week to work on a class I don't like, what if I spent that time doing what I enjoy and in which I find value? Life, I think, would be that much greater. There have been people in my life recently who, in the way they act and think about the way they live there life, have influenced the importance I put on how I spend my life. It's a great lesson to learn and to apply in life.

As logical as this grad program is, I just don't think my heart is in it. And I've learned enough in a few years that our time should only be spent with people and doing things that we love. Why would I deny myself that?

Thought for the week:
"God doesn't give you the people you want, He gives you the people you
NEED: To help you, to leave you, to love you and to make you into the person you were meant to be." - unknown

An Award!

Life is a little out of control. But I'm living it and loving it. But I would like to do a better job at sharing and expressing what's going on in my life. That being said, I received my first blogging award over TWO months ago and I have yet to pass it on. A true blog fail, indeed. So, I'm rededicating myself to sharing my life with all the people who read this. All 6 of you!


Rebecca, from Living a Life of Writing, had bestowed upon me the Superior Scribbler Award. That in itself is exciting but let me tell you, I am in some impressive company! I'm a fan of this description of the award: What is a Superior Scribbler? One who employs mad skillz to communicate in this crazy, crazy world. Who pontificates, explains, memorializes & entertains. Who has a funny bone & is not afraid to use it. Whose cyber-crib we return to again & again, because it just feels right.
The Super Scribbler

1. Each Superior Scribbler, must in turn, pass the Award on to 5 most-deserving bloggy buds.

2. Each Superior Scribbler must link to the author and name of the blog from whom he/she has received the Award.

3. Each Superior Scribbler must display the Award on his/her blog and link to this post which explains the Award.

4. Each blogger who wins the Award must visit this post and add his or her name to the Mr. Linky List at the Scholastic-Scribe's blog. That way, we'll be able to keep up-to-date on everyone who wins this prestigious Award!

5. Each Superior Scribbler must post these rules on his/her blog.

Here are my Superior Scribblers:

1. Carolina Girl... because, even though we've never met, I'm pretty sure it would be great fun to have drinks with her!

2. Lauren Nicole Love... because Lauren created the fabulous image that I used in my blog header (thanks AGAIN by the way!) And she posts lots of pretty pictures and words and things. :)

3. Yellaphant... just because Bridget has no filter and it's fantastic.

4. Around the Way Girl (or Girl From Around the Way...? blogging issues, yuck!) Anna covers books and fashion and pretty pictures. It's great fun!

5. Places With Character Duta chronicles the interesting places she's been and her life in Israel. I love learning about different places.

yeah, we're gonna let it slide

my absolute favorite songs. (i will probably continue to add to this list... and make a killer playlist)

slide - goo goo dolls (all time favorite EVER)*
wedding day - rosie thomas
hey there delilah - plain white t's
she ain't right - lee brice
wasted - carrie underwood
best of you - foo fighters*
the luckiest - ben folds
want to - sugarland*
arms of a woman - amos lee
hey jude -beatles*
i need you - tim mcgraw and faith hill
vindicated - dashboard confessional
criminal -fiona apple
unchained melody - elvis
i can't stop lovin' you - keith urban
colorblind - counting crows
wind beneath my wings - bette midler
tiny dancer - elton john (or tony danza.... ha)
cowboy take me away - dixie chicks
wonderwall - oasis*
turn me on - norah jones*
time of my life - green day*
tonight, tonight - smashing pumpkins
landslide - fleetwood mac*
i've got friends in low places - garth brooks
undone (the sweater song) - weezer
georgia on my mind - ray charles
don't stop believin' - journey*
should've been a cowboy - alan jackson*
you give me something - james morrison
dear joan - rob thomas
both sides now - joni mitchell

edited later to add:
mrs. robinson - simon & garfunkel

edited to * top 10 favorites

life

It's hard, this thing called life. It doesn't make sense most of the time. There are fantastic feelings, amazing experiences and incredible people. But it still doesn't make sense. Be warm and happy and enjoying dinner and wine with friends one evening. And in the back of your mind thinking about this new, exciting possibility with someone you're getting to know. And life is good at this moment. Because it's unknown and full of potential. And the next morning. Well, the next morning you read something. And you have no idea what it's about but your project. You project your worst thoughts and fears on this and imagine the worst possibility. Except, even that worst possibility shouldn't have an affect on you. But that small bubble of regret or loathing bubbles up within you and pushes out all the warm and happy feelings you had from the night before. And it seems worse because you don't want this to matter anymore. You don't want to care. But that's why life doesn't make any sense. Because there's always a disconnect between what you think about a situation and what you feel. And it doesn't make any sense. You just have to hope you slowly learn to focus on the warm and positive moments.

sick day

After waking up briefly to call in sick, I stayed in bed until noon.

I watched Milk today for the first time. What an incredible story and movie. Sean Penn's Oscar was certainly well-deserved.

I watched Ms. Pettigrew Lives for A Day. A zany movie, for sure. But also endearing.

Now I'm watching the end of Nights in Rodanthe. Let's just say, I would appreciate a sexy pen pal who says asks things like "Who keeps you safe"? Damn you movies, damn you.

I made some instant potato soup, not really something I would recommend. Though, I may have read the instructions wrong...

I'll probably be in bed by 8. I hate being sick, by sick days are rather amazing.

? of the day, via J. Mraz

http://twitter.com/jason_mraz/status/5236198545