Feelin' kind of preppy

Maybe it's my anticipation of spring or maybe the blogs I've been reading have a slightly preppy feel to them, but I've definitely been putting together some slightly preppier outfits lately. Pearls and pink tend to make that happen. So, I'm REALLY excited about this giveaway from Preppy Princess. I'm moving offices soon and I think I could use some fun things to spruce it up a bit. I'm eyeing that mousepad in envy, especially after spotting my ugly black one out of the corner of my eye. Yay for giveaways!

Just a teeny splurge

So, I got paid today. And even though I have many bills to pay, I'm anticipating my tax refund soon, so I splurged. Just a bit, just a teeny bit. It wasn't even a BIG splurge, I went to TJ Maxx! I had been reading about great J.Crew products at TJ Maxx and decided it had been far too long since I had gone on a real bargain hunt.
AND I found a couple of great things! I found these Vera Bradley note cards which are pretty fun. I also bought a super cute pair of loafers/moccasins by Me Too. I CANNOT for the life of me find them online but they're kind of a rich honey brown suede with two gold loops as a type of buckle. I'm kind of in love with them right now and am super excited about my solid investment. Even if they WERE purchased at TJ Maxx.

Happy Friday all!

Quit your whinnin'

Ok, this is going to be some what related to this funny haha post about an SNL skit. But this is going to be serious because it's making me mad!

We had eight years of Republicans doing whatever the heck they wanted with their majority and control in the executive and legislative branch of the U.S. government. And you know what? They didn't do a very good job, either. So now, when A LOT needs to be done to fix the mess they made, they're complaining and holding things up because the democrats aren't being bipartisan? Didn't it take about FOUR WHOLE WEEKS to get this stimulus package passed because of concessions that were made for MORE republican support? How frustrating!

Sometimes....

...you just have a gloomy day that affects everything you do. Today, it was raining, sleeting and just plain gloomy. It does not matter that everything right now is going pretty dang well and I don't have a lot to complain about. I could if I tried, but it's better for your general health and sanity to think about what you have, not what you don't have. So, I'm thankful for the opportunities I've had, my job (I really cannot say this enough) and the people in my life.

But today, it was like coming down from a high and facing reality. Yesterday was slightly overwhelming and when I got to work today, I wanted nothing more than to get back on the bus, head home and get in bed. If the general mood of today was bad, it was nothing compared to leaving work (finally) and facing a cold front that whipped my hair into unavoidable knots in less than a minute. Yes, today was a real winner. Standing in the progressively colder air, the stark trees bare against the darkening gray sky, it seemed the grayest day I had felt in awhile. Not only was the day dull and dreary, but I was exhausted from the week; and, when revelations occur suddenly as they tend to do, overly aware of the complexities of life. Nothing is ever one way only. Situations can never be understood from one view. Life is funny, life is strange and life is bittersweet. And today, things leaned to the bitter side of things. Songs I normally heard as sweet and fun became sad and more complicated. Specifically, 'Wedding Day' by Rosie Thomas and 'Hey There, Delilah' by Plain White T's and 'I Need You' by Faith Hill and Tim McGraw (this one specifically not a particular "upper" for a single someone the day before Valentine's Day!). Before 'Wedding Day' was a particular freeing type of wedding day. A wedding for the relationship you have with yourself, when you're independent and living the life you want. 'Hey There, Delilah' always had a particular sweet innocence to it; the ideal you had about life in high school. 'I Need You' was so earnest and boiled love down to a very basic instinct. But today, they just seemed sad and lonely. False and hopeless.

Sometimes, it's just one of those days.

I'm so sensitive.

Sometimes you have those days where A LOT happens. Today wasn't supposed to be a particularly busy day outside of the usual Thursday meetings but most of the time, life does not go the way you would expect. And it is when those things happen that you learn a little bit more about yourself. So, without going into much detail about what happened, I'll outline the new things I learned about myself today.

1. I am very good at being able to pick up moods and attitudes of those around me. If someone is uncomfortable or mad or annoyed, I can sense this. This is helpful if you want to ask for something and don't want to ask at the wrong time. Or sometimes, people just don't have the patience for what you need to talk to them about. Today, I just kind of new something was coming and it was NOT fun.

2. Along the same lines, my day of meetings has always made me a little crazy by the end of the day. First it was the caffeine, then just general loopyness (yes, it is a word). Today, I deduced what was causing my swing in emotions on the day before the best day of the work week. Like I said, I'm sensitive, but I also have a reflective personality. I pick up on what others are feeling and how they are acting and incorporate it into how I am feeling and acting. So, after hours of meetings on Thursdays with lots of people, discussing lots of problems and challenges, I have a lot of attitudes and feelings to reflect. Thus, I am all wound up about the day. This is also why my closest friends, and those I get along with well, are usually friendly, outgoing and talkative people.

So, that's what I learned about myself today. Here's to tomorrow!

Things about the economy, etc

What? You don't want to be a "dancer".?
Ok, maybe our economy is sucking, but we solved this problem.

Also, this is troubling to hear when you work for a state university. Just so the karma gods know, I really like my job and am very grateful for it. *amen*


Somewhat related (?) check out this ridiculous Gawker entry about the creation of Pepsi's new logo. It is so elaborate it is either totally brilliant or the biggest load of crap ever. Either way, very imaginative (or something). And Pepsi does have a cool new branding theme. As always, cool and young, but this year it also includes a little bit of that Obama-Hope.



Pepsi, along with alcohol, makeup, fast food joints and desperate car companies will be the only advertising you see besides primetime infomercials. Oh, the horror.

Sometimes SNL hits it

My favorite:

Nancy: I will admit some disappointment in Harry and his colleagues to cut $50 billion for schools, because I thought we cared about education.
Reed: Nancy, maybe if you hadn't put in 200 million for condoms we wouldn't have been in such a tough position.
Pelosi: Can I say something about condoms?
Reed: You probably shouldn't.
Pelosi: Now I know it's a blast to poke fun of san fran Nancy for her ideas about sex ed but maybe if we spent money on condoms and education, the next generation won't have so many stupid people ruining our economy. But no, by all means, I'm the villain. The hero is the woman with six kids who had octuplets. Let's get her on Oprah.

Obviously, SNL is usually extreme satire but sometimes I cannot help but totally agree with them. This clip is one of them.
A few things, yes 200 million is an excessive amount for condoms (I don't know what the true amount was) and Armisen and Wig's caricatures of Reed and definitely Pelosi were extreme. BUT a few good points were made. Democrats are doing what they can to make this a truly bipartisan bill. But the Republicans are being a little whinny. THEY apparently forgot about the 8 years of Bush veto and their own 6 years of partisan decision-making.


I just hope something gets done soon. The whole country is figuratively at a stand still waiting for congress to do something. And hopefully, psychologically, the country is able to get going again after the bill's passage.


Oh, and this was pretty awesome too:

We live in Kansas; you don't think we haven't heard that before?

The University of Kansas has a pretty good men's basketball team. Ok, who am I kidding?! It's pretty legendary. Right now I'm watching them play at Baylor. We won the championship last year (OMG SO EXCITING!) and lost all 5 starters. So, kind of a rebuilding year but still only 4 losses. So, we're playing Baylor (a much closer game than it should be) but still exciting! And have lived in Kansas for 5 1/2 years now, you kind of expect the Wizard of Oz jokes every so often. But as far as fan signs go (when the team is playing away games) this is NOT creative:

You're not in Kansas anymore!

This usually happens when we play anyone in the Big XII besides Kansas State University. The other 10 teams are super, duper creative, right?

*sigh*

But anyway, Rock Chalk Jayhawk, GO KU!!! Enjoy this:



The victory, the glory, the power, the legends, the titles, The Tradition. This video gives me chills just watching it at home. I got to see it for the first time before the game I went to on Saturday. On Saturday, I had goosebumps and shed tears. Kansas Basketball is amazing.

Misc.

Ridiculous. A yes you can sale? Really, Southwest, Really?

Also, I don't get the Snuggie.
Gawker has mocked it. Mrs. Newlywed bought one. And apparently, a bunch of other people. It's a marketing anomaly.

It's everywhere and I'm trying to understand it. Is it the nation collectively turning to the fetus position in our current state of gloom and plummeting economy? And why can't we use a blanket or just use a robe? Why?!

I smell like a tomater!

Ok, I don't really talk like that. But, currently, I DO smell like vegetables. Tomatoes, cucumbers, green peppers, etc. I don't even like eating vegetables that much, do you think I can count them as a serving if I put them on my face?

I didn't just slice up some veggies and slather them on my face, I'm using some of Burt's Bees natural products! I'm excited to see how this goes, because I was just recently at an Arbonne party (also uses mostly natural products) and it made me think about all the crap that goes into the products you put on your face. Mineral oil in particular is kind of nasty stuff. I did absolutely nothing to triscuit in several hours; another triscuit in water became totally mushy.

So anyways, I was looking up some Burt's Bees products online today and while at Hy-Vee, I got a couple things:

Burt's Bees Garden Tomato Complexion Soap:


















Burt's Bees Garden Tomato Toner:


















I also got some fun foot creme that I'm looking forward to using before bed tonight! And who doesn't love their lip balm? I've also found their Lemon Butter Cuticle Creme is awesome. (I got this one from my friend Becca - thanks Becca!) For the life of me, I don't think I'll ever be able to stop picking at my nail beds and fingernails but this and a fresh coat of clear nail polish every night is going to keep them from looking their worse.

So, 30 minutes after using my vegi-filled face products, my face definitely feels different. The toner is supposed to help balance the pH level of my face which will help decrease the amount of oil production (here's hoppin', I have the face of 15-year old!). It's also maybe a little dry but I did not buy any moisturizer since it was a bit more expensive and I didn't know how much money I wanted to dedicate to my "natural" cleansing routine.

Life and Death, Justice and Morals: The Theme of Thursday TV

Grey's Anatomy had a two episode main storyline that delved quite deeply into a moral gray area. (Grey's/gray, kind of fits.) A prisoner on death row had to have some sort of brain surgery (I am fuzzy on the details) even though his execution was scheduled in five days. This prisoner somehow finds out there is a child who needs an organ transplant. And (in the wonderful world of tv) they happen to be a match. The prisoner wants the doctors to let him die so he can give his organs, but should he be allowed the redemption? McDreamy doesn't think so but Meridith wants to show the prisoner compassion in his final days (despite his crimes) and Miranda wants to ignore her doctor's oath to save the young patient in need of the organs. In the end, the prisoner will be dead. But what of the means? Do they matter when the outcome is the same? In this moral gray area, I thought they should let the prisoner die; perhaps, for what I saw as the greater good: the boy in need of the organs. In the end, they didn't have to kill one to save the other but what if that other choice wasn't there?

In Private Practice, two doctors squared off in the debate over assisted suicide. A double edged sword; can you let someone suffer though the only alternative is helping them die?

Another patient in "Private Practice" had behavioral issues and wouldn't go outside because she was "afraid of everything." I think that could be my biggest fear: not being able to overcome your own self-doubt and the judgment of others to enjoy what is good and joyful about life. Because why live if you're scared of every minute?

Why, helllllloooooo 44

I wonder how long it will be until we don't love absolutely EVERYTHING they do. I hope it lasts awhile. Because it's kind of a nice feeling to be ABSOLUTELY. IN. LOVE. with the president and the first family.

The giggly sensation of watching President Obama (I love saying that!) and the lovely first lady having their first dance at the first inauguration ball (or prom? or their wedding?) is like crushing on that cute senior boy in high school. Who also happens to be really smart and likable.

Also awesome: "Now I'd like to dance with the one who brought me. She does everything I do but backwards and in heels. My wife, Michelle Obama." He's charming AND funny!

Fact: KU Med Center lost access to their online patient records today because SO MANY PEOPLE WERE WATCHING THE INAUGURATION ONLINE.

Fact: People generally accept President Obama as the 44th president (he self-referred himself as such in his speech) but now people are arguing this is wrong because Grover Cleveland served 2 terms non-consecutively and is counted twice. So, really 43 people have now served as president but President Obama is 44, President Bush 43, President Clinton 42, etc. Stop nitpicking and enjoy the hope-y feeling people! Don't be hatin'!



Best KU b-ball fan sign from last night read: 2008 National Champions, KU Basketball and Barack Obama (included pictures). Other side: Barack Chalk Jayhawk. I love the play on words.

Also, my friend Briana got to be AT the inauguration. Like ON the mall. Check out her twitter!

She was here:

Lazy Sunday and My Favorite Things

(Note: due to title, obligatory SNL skit posted below. Because it's awesome. And I figured out how to embed clips from Hulu.)

Sitting here in my sun-filled room, online shopping at J.Crew and enjoying the sounds of the adult alternative music channel on my cable box (channel 914, if anyone is curious). I think my favorite music since I was old enough to have favorite music was adult alternative. Which is funny, because as a 12-year old, I definitely was not an adult. Just proves that this particular music sub-genre is mis-named.

Favorites so far:
"Satellite" by DMB (on top 5 list of favorite songs)This song was on a mixed tape (yes, TAPE) a friend made me in like 8th or 9th grade. I think that's why I love it so much. I think she made this tape because I literally knew NOTHING about music at all. I still don't know much.
"I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz (also a strong contender for top 5 songs)
A song by Donavon Frankenreiter. Had never heard of him before, but am now listening to more on myspace. Kind of beachy, chillaxed, Jack Johnson kind of songs.
There was also an Adele song. 18 I think? I was *this* close to buying her cd at Target last week. I think I'll visit her myspace sometime soon.

"Slide" by Goo Goo Dolls is my number one favorite song. Dizzy Up the Girl is my favorite CD ever. Room for Squares by John Mayer may be a close 2nd for favorite CD. And, obviously, the Garden State soundtrack. I've tried to keep a list of top 5 favorite songs, cds, etc. but I always am looking to make edits months later. So, it's definitely not a permanent list.

Friday Funday

Sometimes, you have a rough week. Today was one of them. Yesterday, I wrote this (and forgot to post it):

I almost fell over into the copy machine while copying this afternoon. I was not tired but exhausted from all the work this week. I think I shut my eyes a little too long and lost track of equilibrium. Then I felt that falling action like when you're sleeping and have the falling dream. Except I was actually leaning over, very slowly, into the copy machine. I then decided I couldn't wait until tomorrow night at 6 pm when I can have a couple of drinks to celebrate the end of graduation certification!

So, definitely needing some drinks tonight. This morning went lightening fast. Not good since it is the last day of this very important certification time for my job. Lots of final decisions to be made on the fate of some students... sometimes I wonder at the amount of responsibility this job entails.

Anyway, weeks like this make for days that feel like you're on the struggle bus. Struggle bus you ask? Just one of those days where you do stupid things and life in general is just challenging and/or taxing. Apparently, it's a term that's been around (see facebook group description: "You're riding the struggle bus. Sometimes we get run over by this bus, or we're chasing it. Its ok. Join your fellow riders."

I heard it from Jason Laipply, self-described motivational speaker, but most importantly, creator of the Evolution of Dance. See below for your Friday Funday video:

I'm rooting for the polar bear...

more animals

I appreciate this type of animal/modern issue humor...

If I were in DC next week...

I would want to attend the Green Inaugural Ball. Mostly because I would want to wear a fabulous emerald green dress.

Like maybe the one Kiera Knightly wore in Atonement.



If ONLY I were so fabulous.

I'm So 'Lost'

What is the reason they are on the island?
Why does that one guy never age?
Polar Bears? Black Smoke? Whispers?
Why does Locke want to "protect" the island. Why does it cause miracles? (Him walking, curing Rose's cancer, Sun conceiving the baby when Jin HAD been sterile.)
And why are they lying? Why can't they tell the world there are still survivors? Why do they go along with Locke's request to lie:
"Lie to them Jack. And if you lie to them half as well as you lie to yourself, they'll believe you." Oooh, Locke, that burns!

There is so much coolness with the show 'Lost'. The philosophers (Locke, Rousseau, Hume), the biggest modern battle: science vs. faith (remind me to tell you about the girl who is studying Atmospheric Science because she wants to discover god's power. Actually, don't remind me). The science vs. faith battle is one of my favorite themes. They use it well in The X-Files (who didn't love Mulder and Scully!?).

Honor of season 5, 5 favorite Lost moments:
5) Discovering how connected everyone was before, years before!

4)Basically ALL of Locke's background. But most notably that he couldn't walk when he boarded the airplane in Australia, but could after the plane crashed.

3)When you realize the these seemingly normal people having book club meetings are "The Others" on the island.

2)Desmond and Penelope talking on the phone. Best. Convo. Ever. Love them.

1) Dude, where's my island. Seriously, how does time traveling make the island disappear? (Yes, I'm making the argument that even IF we COULD time travel, that wouldn't cause the island to disappear. These are the crazy things you just accept in the world of "Lost".

But I think the biggest question about this next season is: WHY DO THEY GO BACK. Because they do. And it totally baffles me.

SNL + NPH = LOVE

Can Doogie (aka Neil Patrick Harris) become a full time cast member? Much love to him and SNL cast for a great show Saturday.

I cannot embed hulu clips, so here's the link: Broadway Skit

Golden Globes!

Little late here... but first, must say, I LOVE awards shows. Well, some of them. And so does Megan - but are they shown in Japan? Don't think so... this is for her! I'm sad I missed the red carpet! And the first hour of the show. But we're just getting to the good stuff.

Gerard Butler shushed the Golden Globes. He is the man. And totally foxy. A totally foxy man's man.

Seth Rogan...lookin' good! He's trimmed down. And has some great glasses!

Best Screenplay. Ben Button or Slumdog! Here's hopin'... But I haven't seen the others. Slumdog is the winner! Who knew a movie based upon a Who Wants to Be A Millionaire would be SO. FREAKIN' GOOD. Based upon a book called Q & A.

Amy Poehler - love her! And Patrick Dempsey... so dreamy! (Cute dynamic, you two!)
30 Rock, The Office! And David Duchovney! Loved him for so long! Glad to see him about and about! Alex wins! Because 30 Rock is so brill.Tina Fey is a genius, glad to see Alec recognize this! And Rumer Willis is a Golden Girl! Love that dress.

Side commercial note: Eva Longoria looks better with long hair. Kate Walsh totally kicks ass in that Cadillac commercial. Totally sexy. Love it. And now want a Cadillac. Also, why can I not remember anyone's name tonight? (I've had to google everyone whose name is not announced.

Renee Z. in the movie "New In Town". Trailer made me fall out of my chair laughing when I saw it. Mostly (well, only) because of an inside joke (with the family no less). I'd go into, but let me just say: "New Ulm, Minnesota". Hilarious.

Kate Winslet! Give her an Oscar! She needs one!
Transformers! Cannot wait for the sequel! Megan Fox has a really bad makeup line.

Things to see: Bernard and Doris. John Adams.

Recount was a good, if not sad, movie. Yay for Wilkenson and Spacey. Yay for Giamatti for winning!

"This was a hell of a job, a hell of a job, this little costume drama we put on" - Paul Giamatti.

Apparently I missed Heath Ledger winning best supporting actor. Who accepted?!

30 Rock should win! Clip from show: "socionomically speaking you are more like an inner-city latina" (Jack to Kenneth). And it does! Biggest LOL:Tracy Morgan accepting on behalf of the show. He is now the spokesperon for the show since Obama won. Love it. (Megan - did you vote?!)

I need to catch up on Weeds!

Looking at other winners I missed. Anna Paquin for True Blood. Interesting. I enjoy the show, but didn't think it was that great. The girl does give a good scream though. Apparently, all the quality drama is no longer on network tv. ACM, TNT, HBO, Showtime, etc.

And Meryl Streep didn't win for best actress in a musical/comedy? Where you at Mamma Mia lovers?
Apparently Kate Winslet winning over Pennelope Cruz (Vicky Christina Barcelona) was an upset? I didn't realize VCB was being taken seriously. Not that I saw it. I just don't take Scarlet Johansson seriously anymore.

Best Original Score HAS to be Slumdog. But again, only one I've seen... GG goes to SLUMDOG! I'm basically behind SDM winning anything.

DD only actor to win in drama and comedy...because he's the BEST!

Best actress in tv comedy: And is America Ferrara engaged?! I love all these nominees so any should win! Tina Fey wins because, once again, 30 Rock is totally brill. Am I repeating myself? Her speech is funny. She talks about feeling that maybe you're too good after the year she's had, but "there's this thing called the internet". And she names some internet user names and tells them to suck it.
Also, gives a shout out to Will Arnet for a joke about owning the action figures of all the Hollywood Foreign Press, group that picks the winners.

Martin Scorcese is getting old. That is a head of WHITE hair. But the same glasses. Now he's yammering on about Steven Speilberg. I'm bored... but he just got weirdly quiet and emotional. Speilburg is... an ARTIST! Now a little video clip of movies by Spielberg. Jaws, ET (which I watched a few weeks ago - still makes me cry)
Midnight of Sun ( I think) which I should see. Christian Bale is in it. Jurassic Park! LOVE IT. Schindler's List ( I should see that again), Saving Private Ryan (love Tom Hangs and Matt Damon), Minority Report was pretty cool (had a dream about Tom Cruise hunting me after that movie), Catch Me If You Can (made my love Cate Blanchett) and of course Indie. Wow, Speilberg's done a crapload of stuff!Also produced: Back to the Future, Roger Rabbit, Men In Black, Twister! Memoirs of A Geisha, Transformers. Now he's getting an award. Probably lifetime achievement (I said I wasn't paying attention at first!)

(Apparently Pierce Brosnan was high when he introduced the Mamma Mia clip? This is according to confidential internet sources - ha.)

SS is still talking. So I'm browsing red carpet photos. Brad Pitt looks like he's in the middle of a midlife crisis.

(Chris Pizzello/AP Photo)

He needs to do whatever he did for Benjamin Button. Him as his 40 year old self was HOT.


















Love these two (Matt Sayles/AP Photo):



I can't wait for Last Chance Harvey. But I think Emma Thompson and Dustin Hoffman are Deee-RUNK. But Emma Thompson is freakishly TALL! Announcing Best Director, GG goes to: Danny Boyle for Slumdog Millionaire. This movie IS CLEANING UP!













Sigourney Weaver looks lovely. And she's talking about Revolutionary Road. The reuniting of Rose and Jack! (Kate and Leo). I saw the preview for this movie a couple weeks ago and it looks AWESOME. So pretty. (Matt Sayles/AP Photo)
























Sandra Bullock has a great dress. Love her. Winner for Actors in a Comedy. Apparently, In Bruges is a comedy? Whatev...I still loved it. but Colin Farrel wins. And he cannot believe it. He and Brandon Gleeson are buddies - love it. He's so Irish, adorable.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona wins best Comedy? I apparently should see this movie. And whoever announced this made, what the audience believed to be, some questionable jokes about the economy and Madonna losing an assistant (ie Guy Ritchie). Sandra Bullock shook her head in that way like she wanted to laugh but knew she should disapprove of.

Mark Wahlberg is hilarious. Also, just remembering the Wahlberg impersonation, once again on SNL last night. hilarious.
GG for Best actress in comedy: Kate Winslet! Yay! She's screaming is surprise. Maybe she will get her Oscar! She's hilarious and great. She just thanked Anne, Meryl, Kristin and forgot the other - it was Angelina.
Aw, there's so much Kate and Leo love. She's loved Leo for 13 years. God, she's the best. I want to be BFFs with her.

Ooh, Rainn Wilson and Blake Lively just introduced each other as "tv actors". And they didn't know they were supposed to read the nominees. HA, they got out of the mishap well. Best Drama TV show: MadMen. I don't really care. Although, I've heard it's good. But the person accepting just dissed Kate Winslet by saying "the british actresses stole my bit - I was going to cry." At least use her name, she would kick your ass.

Susan Sarandon! Is. So. Cool. Announcing best actor in drama. Mickey Rourke gets it. For what movie? I don't even know. I think it should have gone to LEO! But I'm prejudiced! Oh, The Wrestler. I've never heard of it.

MOTION PICTURE DRAMA...oooooh, the suspense is dra-mat-ic. HA. Slumdog wins it. So exciting! I think the director accepting cussed and was censored. Hilarious.

Slumdog Millionaire basically dominates. That would be my synopsis of the show. Yay for award show season!

You can't take a picture of this, it's already gone

Have you ever experienced something so haunting, so poignant, so beautiful it made you cry from the sadness and the happiness and also made you so aware of THIS very life you're living all in one burst of emotion? I love good tv and appreciate good characters and shows but I never thought a show could impact me so much. Six Feet Under has been over for 4 years now but I just started watching it 6 months ago. I finally finished the last season with a friend last night and it was absolutely incredible. I thought about yesterday while I should have been working and couldn't stop listening to "Breathe Me" by Sia when I went to bed on Wednesday night.

It was truly exquisite. And I hope to say, years from now, that it had a deep-down impact on my life. Hopefully, more loving, care-free and embracing of life. Because, right now, that is what the show has made me want to appreciate more about this existence.

Here is video of Sia, singing "Breathe Me", the song from the last few minutes of the episode. It definitely made the finale what it was.